The Greeks enjoyed each others company as a way of politics as well as friendship. Vernon states To be a citizen was to take part actively in the collective life of the city (p.158). This emphasized the importance of having close friends, as the wellbeing of the polis depended on the wellbeing of individuals. This was largely due to the fact that only men participated in politics and the population was much smaller by comparison (Vernon 2010 p.158). In modern day America, our politics are run by our government and institutions. There is less emphasis on the wellbeing of the individuals and more on the economy, as stated by Christian Meier. Bringing in personal interests as well as financial interests into politics shifted the focus of individual wellbeing to financial gain, thus removing the importance of having friends with good social standing (Vernon 2010 p.158).
The late Roman Republic placed emphasis on participation in government. Only the ruling classes could participate, but office terms were short and required many people to be involved. Because of the high demand of participation, the Romans needed to have good social standing with each other, thus making friendship a public matter (Vernon 2010 p.164). The emphasis on making right with friends was of utmost importance in Roman society. Vernon states that to be accused of being a poor friend, and bad at friendship, was to lose public standing (p.165). This was demonstrated by Cicero who accused Mark Anthony of winning people over by inviting them into his bedroom to gain social standing. Anthony was attempting to take over the Roman Republic after the death of Julius Caesar, which Cicero publicly opposed. The back and forth between the two lasted, even after Ciceros death, emphasizing the importance of friendships and social standing (Vernon 2010 p.165-166). This is not the case in our modern western politics. Being bad at friendship no longer has the same social repercussions. Vernon states that A friend can become a foe, if they fail to stand by you (p.159). In our politics, friends can be easily disregarded and replaced with others that will better suit the utility of the agenda with little to no consequences. Expression in this case, is solely based on utility, and does not allow room for anything deeper to transpire, for modern politics is centered around financial self-interest.
Medieval Europe planted the seeds of modern binary society. In 1690 John Locke wrote Essay concerning the True Original, Extent, and End of Civil Government. Locke explained civil society as one that was between man and wife. The first society was between man and wife, which gave beginning to that between parents and children, to which, in time, that between master and servant came to be added. Locke used this model for society based on Adam and Eve (Vernon 2010 p.177). This model was the beginning of what we know as the nuclear family, which became the norm for modern western society.
The shift towards a binary society made what was once social activities into private affairs. Activities like bathing, dining and sleeping together used to be a sign of social connection during the Middle Ages. Alan Bray, in his book The Friend he identifies a tipping point for the move from the medieval to the modern social attitudes towards friendship (Vernon 2010 p.172). In our binary culture, those activities became private and done only within marriage. The focus on this marital space reduced the importance of social friendships.
Reference
Vernon, M. (2010). The Meaning of Friendship. New York, NY: Palgrave Macmillan. Chapter 7: The Politics of Friendship
