Should Animals Be Used In Circuses? Social Justice Issue Discussion
My written paper needs help.
Please turn on track changes.This is my third version which below stillneeds improvement.
ThesisNeeds Improvement
Goal: Thesisstatement is provided, but needs improvement (lacks one of the elements)
Feedback
**Should remain unbiased. Yourstance on the topic shouldn’t be stated until the conclusion.** You provide athesis statement, but it needs improvement. Thesis statement should: be clearand concise be consistent with or follow logically from the framing of theissue (that you provided in the background) gives a map of what you will do inthe paper
Quality ofresearch
Goal:
[a] provide both a Pro and Con positionon the topic
[b] include at least 2 perspectives ineach.
but the research needs improvement (addressesmost of the points that should be in each perspective, but evidence is thin).
Good, NeedsImprovement
**You seemto discuss multiple different perspectives, but don’t provide much solidresearch support** You provided a Pro and Con position on the topic, but someimprovement is needed in your research to address the perspectives within eachside. Keep in mind that each perspective should include the following: Explainthe perspective well Who are the general proponents of the perspective Providesufficient information to support each perspective Compelling evidence fromlegitimate sources is given (quality of sources is graded elsewhere); At least1 peer-reviewed article supporting each perspective Research is in-depth,attempt to go beyond the obvious
Conclusion
Goal: Conclusion issatisfactory but could be improved.
You neededto restate your thesis and provide a summary of the pros/cons. You provided aconclusion that is of satisfactory quality but needs improvement. Theconclusion should include the following: Restates the thesis Discusses whichposition is more persuasive and why. This is not simply an opinion but justifieswhich position (or combination of the positions) is supported best. Showscritical thinking. For example, synthesize ideas or propose new aposition/solution or go beyond the obvious
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Attachments
20190408131602thesis__needs_improvement (98 kB)
20190408131610should_animals_be_used_in_circuses_version_2 (56 kB)
