HHS4U
Families in Canada
Lesson 6
Theories of Attraction and Relationships
HHS4U Families in Canada
Lesson 6
Lesson 6 Theories of Attraction and Relationships
Introduction
Do you ever wonder why people choose each other as life partners? Its a question that
has fascinated social scientists, and one that you will look at more closely in this lesson
as you study mate selection and attraction theories and research. You will also turn your
attention to building primary research skills. In this lesson you will learn how to conduct
an interview.
What You Will Learn
After completing this lesson, you will be able to:
? describe various theories of attraction and mate selection (evolutionary theory, filter
theory, social homogamy theory);
? summarize how various theoretical perspective (psychodynamic, evolutionary, structural functionalist, conflict theory) explain the development of intimate relationships
? demonstrate an understanding of the general research process by reflecting on and
evaluating their own research, inquiry, and communication skills;
? clearly communicate the results of your inquiries (e.g., write clearly, organize ideas
logically, use language conventions properly), and follow APA conventions for acknowledging sources (e.g., generate a reference list in APA style);
? summarize how various theoretical perspectives (e.g., psychodynamic, evolutionary,
structural functionalist, conflict theory, feminist theory, queer theory perspectives)
explain the development of intimate relationships.
Coupling and Mate Selection
In the previous lessons you looked at some of the challenges and stages related to the
transition to adulthood. In this lesson, you will focus on the time in an adults life when
the search for a life partner begins.
Evolutionary Psychology Theory
Evolutionary psychology suggests that attraction dates back to prehistoric times. Individuals look for people who will aid in their chance of survival meaning that they look for
others who will provide something to them in the future. For example, men are attracted
to women with large hips since they may believe that these women will be able to bear
healthy children. Selecting a mate with specific qualities ensures that future children will
receive those same qualities. In prehistoric times, women preferred men who would be
good fathers and providers, whereas men preferred to mate with women who could
bear healthy babies, feed children, and who had the intelligence and temperament to
care for children. Men were looking for nurturing women and women were looking for
competent men. Looking for a mate who encompasses all the qualities that one is
searching for ensures that individual preferences for attraction are met along with holding all the survival traits required in order to bear and nurture strong children.
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HHS4U Families in Canada
Lesson 6
Women tend to look for financial stability and the ability to be good providers. This is a
form of evolution. Women look for healthy, intelligent and well-educated, and hard-working ambitious men. Men universally are attracted to women who appear to be fertile.
Therefore, men around the world are attracted to women who are physically appealing,
young, and healthy with a good complexion and shapely figure in order to properly bear,
deliver, and nurture children.
Theory of Social Homogamy
The theory of social homogamy attempts to explain why individuals are attracted to
some people and not others. Often a person’s social background tends to attract others
of the same social background. Individuals from different racial or ethnic backgrounds
are attracted to each other because they were born and socialized within the same environment and they are similar in aspects of their social and economic background. Similarity of backgrounds makes it more likely that couples will share common expectations
for their relationship and lifestyle, they will manage their resources more efficiently and
with less conflict, and they will raise children more easily. People who have similar beliefs about their roles within the family, and share similar experiences are more likely to
enjoy each other’s company and fall in love, thus providing a functional relationship and
family home.
The basis for arranged marriages is likely since parents want to see their children
happy. Parents arrange for a marriage within their own culture where their children are
more prone to see eye to eye with someone and produce strong children therefore flourishing their values, beliefs, and morals.
Ideal Mate Theory
Attraction is based on an individual’s unconscious image of an ideal mate formed from
his or her perceptions of the meaning of certain characteristics. This theory supports the
concept of “love at first sight” because everyone has an unconscious ideal with which
they compare a person. Individual’s expectations of their ideal mate cause them to immediately judge another and determine if that person is good enough to be their mate.
Often, perceptions of an ideal mate are formed from pleasant experiences with others
during childhood. The ideal mate image sets the standard by which people judge other
potential mates without being aware of it. In any case, these perceptions also cause individuals to marry outside of their age bracket. The average age difference worldwide is
that men are 3 ½ years older than women. In Canada, the age difference is two years.
There are four reasons as to why women tend to marry older men:
1. Developmental: women are more likely to marry during identity transition and are
ready to marry earlier.
2. Evolutionary: older men appear stronger, wiser, and stable. Younger women are
considered more sexually desirable although men are not likely to consciously
think in terms of fertility.
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HHS4U Families in Canada
Lesson 6
3. Social Exchange Perspective: younger, more attractive women have greater resources (than older women) to offer older, successful men (who in turn have
more resources than younger men).
4. Conflict and Feminist Perspectives: an older man with greater resources ensures
that younger woman will need his resources to acquire an improved lifestyle and
therefore men maintain a dominant status in a patriarchal marriage.
Mursteins Filter Theory
Bernard Murstein explained the relationship among dating, social homogamy, and social exchange as a multi-step process. He uses the analogy of sifting to suggest that
individuals pass their dates through a series of filters to screen out unacceptable marriage partners. This process of filtering leads an individual to only let one acceptable
partner through, which ultimately leads to marriage.
Field of Eligibles
Who is out there, the general population.
Propinquity Filter
Who is close to us? An available group to choose from (proximity)
Attraction Filter
Judgement based on appearance and individual characteristics.
Homogamy Filter (Age, Race, Education, Socio
Economic Class, Religion)
Judgement based on how similar these factors are to the individual.
Compatibility Filter (Temperament, Attitudes
and Values, Needs, Roles, Habits)
Judgement based on similarities of these more intangible
qualities
Trial Filter (Cohabitation Engagement)
Statement of commitment required. Test of the compatibility of all previous filters.
Decision Filter
Final decision is made to see if individual is
the right choice.
Marriage
Romantic Love
Love and commitment tend to be the greatest assets to lead a man and woman to one
another. Women tend to hold “love” more strongly than men and both men and women
see monogamy as the commitment needed to ensure success in a relationship.
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Lesson 6
Research Method
Creating a coherent research method requires sufficient detail to be included to explain
how the research was gathered, tested, reported, and organized. After reading this section of a research report, a reader should be able to recreate the research exactly. Depending on the subject matter and the type of research method being used, the methodology section can vary in length. Items requiring explanation include timelines, objectives, limitations, instruments used to collect data, data collection, ethical considerations, and any type of statistical analysis to be administered to the data. Provide a set of
instructions detailed enough for another person to follow when collecting data.
Remember: when writing a methodology, write it in the third person. Give details explaining how subjects were chosen, how subjects were greeted, how data was collected, and any other relevant data to ensure the recreation of the experiment are as accurate as possible. Typically, if the methodology answers explain when, where, and
how, the research done was sufficient.
Creating Questions
Questionnaires: Research using interviews is qualitative research. Information collected in this manner can use different technologies to collect the information. Technological use can range from low technological use by simply having a face-to-face interview and recording the conversation to a more high-tech interview using a digital database to organize interview information. An important strength associated with qualitative
research is that it has more flexibility for the researcher and the interviewee to provide
feedback on the research topic. Questions are constructed before the interview, but the
interviewee has the ability to give responses deemed to be relevant to the topic of discussion. Try to reach out to members of the community for gaining information for your
topic. Your family priest, for example, could help provide a religious outlook on your
topic. Options for interviewing include the following techniques
Fact-to-Face Interviews: The researcher has the advantage of seeing the facial expressions of the interviewee. Interpreting body language allows the researcher to possibly modify or clarify the questions being asked. Also, follow-up information can be pursued thus expanding the knowledge of a specific topic possibly unknown or unthoughtof by the researcher.
Telephone Interviews: This style of interviewing does not have as high a response rate
as face-to-face interviews, but it does allow the researcher to reach people previously
inaccessible because of time, distance, and physical factors.
Computer Assisted Personal Interviewing (CAPI): The interviewer brings a laptop or
hand-held computer to record the data directly into a data base during the interview.
This method saves time in processing and organizing collected data. This approach
does require the researcher to be able to type quickly and use the required software to
input, store, and manipulate the interview information.
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Lesson 6
Surveys: Questionnaires are a precise method for collecting data according to the researcher’s choices. Questions allow the respondent to choose from a set of pre-made
answers. Checklist and rating scales help quantify human behaviours and attitudes.
These scales are referred to as Likert scales. The anonymity of using a questionnaire
increases the likelihood that respondents will answer the questions truthfully. This advantage is especially useful when researching controversial issues. There is also a
range of technological uses when using questionnaires. The low technological version
requires the use of pencil and paper, while the high-technological version can be webbased and have information directly entered into a database
Introduction to Interviews
Interviews are particularly useful for getting the story behind a participant’s experiences.
The interviewer can pursue in-depth information around a topic. Interviews may be useful as follow-up to certain respondents to questionnaires, e.g., to further investigate their
responses. Usually open-ended questions are asked during interviews.
Before you start to design your interview questions and process, clearly articulate to
yourself what problem or need is to be addressed using the information to be gathered
by the interviews. This helps you keep clear focus on the intent of each question.
Preparation for Interview
? Choose a setting with little distraction. Avoid loud lights or noises, ensure the
interviewee is comfortable (you might ask them if they are), etc. Often, they may
feel more comfortable at their own places of work or homes.
? Explain the purpose of the interview.
? Address terms of confidentiality. Note any terms of confidentiality. (Be careful
here. Rarely can you absolutely promise anything. Courts may get access to information, in certain circumstances.) Explain who will get access to their answers
and how their answers will be analyzed. If their comments are to be used as
quotes, get their written permission to do so.
? Explain the format of the interview. Explain the type of interview you are conducting and its nature. If you want them to ask questions, specify if they’re to do
so as they have them or wait until the end of the interview.
? Indicate how long the interview usually takes.
? Tell them how to get in touch with you later if they want to.
? Ask them if they have any questions before you both get started with the interview.
? Don’t count on your memory to recall their answers. Ask for permission to
record the interview or bring along someone to take notes
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Lesson 6
Interviews Types
1. Informal, conversational interview – no predetermined questions are asked, in order to remain as open and adaptable as possible to the interviewee’s nature and priorities; during the interview, the interviewer “goes with the flow”.
2. General interview guide approach – the guide approach is intended to ensure that
the same general areas of information are collected from each interviewee; this provides more focus than the conversational approach, but still allows a degree of freedom and adaptability in getting information from the interviewee.
3. Standardized, open-ended interview – here, the same open-ended questions are
asked to all interviewees (an open-ended question is where respondents are free to
choose how to answer the question, i.e., they don’t select “yes” or “no” or provide a
numeric rating, etc.); this approach facilitates faster interviews that can be more easily analyzed and compared.
4. Closed, fixed-response interview – where all interviewees are asked the same
questions and asked to choose answers from among the same set of alternatives.
This format is useful for those not practiced in interviewing
Types of Topics in Questions
Patton notes six kinds of questions. One can ask questions about:
1. Behaviors – about what a person has done or is doing
2. Opinions/values – about what a person thinks about a topic
3. Feelings – note that respondents sometimes respond with “I think …” so be careful
to note that you’re looking for feelings
4. Knowledge – to get facts about a topic
5. Sensory – about what people have seen, touched, heard, tasted or smelled
6. Background/demographics – standard background questions, such as age, education, etc.
*Note that the above questions can be asked in terms of past, present or future
Sequence of Questions
? Get the respondents involved in the interview as soon as possible.
? Before asking about controversial matters (such as feelings and conclusions), first ask about some facts. With this approach, respondents can more
easily engage in the interview before warming up to more personal matters.
? Intersperse fact-based questions throughout the interview to avoid long lists
of fact-based questions, which tends to leave respondents disengaged
? Ask questions about the present before questions about the past or future. It’s usually easier for them to talk about the present and then work into the
past or future.
? The last questions might be to allow respondents to provide any other information they prefer to add and their impressions of the interview.
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Lesson 6
Wording of Questions
? Wording should be open-ended. Respondents should be able to choose their
own terms when answering questions
? Questions should be as neutral as possible. Avoid wording that might influence answers, e.g., evocative, judgmental wording.
? Questions should be asked one at a time.
? Questions should be worded clearly. This includes knowing any terms particular to the program or the respondents’ culture.
? Be careful asking “why” questions. This type of question infers a cause-effect
relationship that may not truly exist. These questions may also cause respondents to feel defensive, e.g., that they have to justify their response, which may inhibit their responses to this and future questions.
Conducting Interview
? Occasionally verify the tape recorder (if used) is working.
? Ask one question at a time.
? Attempt to remain as neutral as possible. Don’t show strong emotional reactions to their responses. Patton suggests to act as if “you’ve heard it all before.”
? Encourage responses with occasional nods of the head, “uh huh”s, etc.
? Be careful about the appearance when note taking. That is, if you jump to
take a note, it may appear as if you’re surprised or very pleased about an answer, which may influence answers to future questions.
? Provide transition between major topics, e.g., “we’ve been talking about
(some topic) and now I’d like to move on to (another topic).”
? Don’t lose control of the interview. This can occur when respondents stray to
another topic, take so long to answer a question that times begins to run out, or
even begin asking questions to the interviewer.
Immediately After Interview
? Verify if the tape recorder, if used, worked throughout the interview.
? Make any notes on your written notes, e.g., to clarify any scratching, ensure
pages are numbered, fill out any notes that don’t make senses, etc.
? Write down any observations made during the interview. For example, where
did the interview occur and when, was the respondent particularly nervous at any
time? Were there any surprises during the interview? Did the tape recorder break?
McNamara, C.
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Lesson 6
Key Question #6 (100 marks)
Arrange to interview an acquaintance regarding their mate selection process.
Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 4
Step 5
Step 6
Step 7
Step 8
Create a hypothesis to be tested.
Create questions relating to the theories and ideas presented in your readings. 10 -15 questions.
Interview the acquaintance using your prepared questions.
Write an introduction to your report. Be sure to explain the purpose of your
research.
Present your findings in three to five paragraphs that summarize the information you gained from your interview and its relationship to the research
findings. Where appropriate, include quotations from the interview. Make
sure you relate your findings to 3-5 theories covered in the course so far.
Write a conclusion that summarizes and pulls together what you have
learned.
Include an Appendix (a separate section of the report at the end) listing
your interview questions.
Analyze your findings, was your hypothesis supported or refuted?
Your submission will be evaluated using the following rubric;
Category
Knowledge/
Understanding
Level 1
(50-59%)
Demonstrates limited knowledge of
various mate selection theories
Level 2
(60-69%)
Demonstrates some
knowledge of various mate selection
theories
Level 3
(70-79%)
Demonstrates considerable knowledge
of various mate selection theories
Level 4
(80-100%)
Demonstrates thorough knowledge of
various mate selection theories
Effectively uses research and inquiry
skills to formulate
hypothesis / interview questions related to mate selection with limited effectiveness
Effectively uses research and inquiry
skills to formulate
hypothesis / interview questions related to mate selection with moderate
effectiveness
Effectively uses research and inquiry
skills to formulate
hypothesis / interview questions related to mate selection with considerable effectiveness
presents findings of
interview in three to
five paragraphs with
limited clarity
presents findings of
interview in three to
five paragraphs with
some clarity
presents findings of
interview in three to
five paragraphs with
considerable clarity
Makes connections
between the theory
and a smooth transition to adulthood
with limited effectiveness
Makes connections
between the theory
and a smooth transition to adulthood
with moderate effectiveness
Makes connections
between the theory
and a smooth transition to adulthood
with considerable
effectiveness
Effectively uses research and inquiry
skills to formulate
hypothesis / interview questions related to mate selection with a high degree of effectiveness
presents findings of
interview in three to
five paragraphs with
a high degree of
clarity and with confidence
Makes connections
between the theory
and a smooth transition to adulthood
with a high degree
of effectiveness
/25
Thinking/
Inquiry
/25
Communication
/25
Application
/25
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HHS4U
Families in Canada
Lesson 7
Becoming a Couple
HHS4U Families in Canada
Lesson 7
Lesson 7 Becoming a Couple
Introduction
In the last lesson you looked at mate selection theories to gain a better understanding of
how people choose mates. In this lesson you take the next step: you consider the fascinating process of two individuals coming together as a couple.
You will then learn to interpret statistics on current marriage trends and postulate about
future trends for marriage and cohabitation. You will also look at legal issues related to
marriage. And finally, you will learn how and when to use surveys as a primary research
tools
What You Will Learn
After completing this lesson, you will be able to:
? analyze the significance of recent demographic trends relating to intimate relationships (e.g., with regards to marriage, and divorce rates, delayed age of marriage; the
number of people living independently; serial monogamy);
? assess the impact of current social trends, issues, and challenges on intimate relationships;
? describe trends in marriage and their impact on individual development
? locate, read and comment on different theories about individual development and
the family;
? find and examine sources representing different perspectives;
? create a survey on the future of marriage;
? describe ways in which roles are negotiated in intimate relationships (e.g., with reference to division of labour, patterns of authority);
? describe differences among roles in intimate relationships in various social, historical, and ethno-cultural contexts.
Marriage
Marriage is defined as a sexual, economic, and emotional partnership between a man
and a woman that is socially and legally sanctioned. (In Canada, this definition is modified to include same-sex couples who marry.) Until recently, in all societies of the world,
marriage has been at the basis of family formation, that is, of reproduction. It is an institution: It involves norms dictating the rights and responsibilities of spouses, of society
toward them, and of spouses as parents. Commitment is a key, multifaceted aspect of
the institution of marriage (Johnson, 1999) and so is fidelity-although, in many societies,
it is required of women only. Reprinted with permission from The Vanier Institute of the Family
Marriage is the primary relationship and the rite of passage that signifies transition into
adulthood in most societies. Marriage is a social invention for it is a norm, value, and
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HHS4U Families in Canada
Lesson 7
belief within society. As individuals marry, the next passage that couples follow is procreation, giving them the sense of security and ensuring the development and survival
of their family and humans. A couple becomes more complete as they engage in reproductive activity.
The Purpose of Marriage
According to structural functionalist theory, marriage is a social institution that was developed as part of the organization of society to meet human’s basic needs. Marriage
allows for a man and woman to sexually reproduce, bear, and socialize children into society and meet the roles and expectations of the division of labour within the home.
As individual’s age and complete passages of life, such as completing post-secondary
education, and becoming financially stable, men and women are expected to marry in
order to fulfill the norms that are set up by society. Marriage provides stability, happiness, and security to the couple and family system even though some may only marry
due to the pressures enforced onto them by their families and society as a whole.
Marriage allows individuals to form an identity separate from their biological family by
providing a sense of purpose. Through marriage a man and a woman share sexual activity with one another and ensure the procreation and bearing of children. People marry
for both social and psychological reasons. Contemporary social life is based on couples,
so marriage continues to be a convenient primary relationship offering friendship and
companionship for men and women. The ideal marriage in many cultures is portrayed
as a happy state, one that completes the individual, and one in which the individual
knows how to love and be loved.
According to the social exchange theory, the desire to marry reflects a belief that being
married will be better than being single. Marriage rates declined at the beginning of the
twenty-first century, yet men and women continue to form sexual relationships outside
the institution of marriage. This poses great concerns for religious groups for it deviates
from the purpose of marriage, which is to procreate, bear, and socialize children and
contribute to the survival of the population.
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Lesson 7
Marriage Is the Secret Formula to Staying Happy in Middle Age,
Canadian Economists Say
Researchers have shown that over the
course of a lifetime, happiness generally follows a U-shaped curve: Happiness is high
when youre young, dips in middle age, and
rises again going into your golden years.
This makes some intuitive sense: Middle
age tends to be a time when obligations to
career and family are at their highest. The
stress of juggling childrearing and long
hours at the office can take a toll on ones
sense of well-being.
Wouldnt it be nice if there were some way
to mitigate that dip in middle-age happiness,
flatten out that U a bit? Turns out, there is:
You can get married.
In a new working paper, Canadian economists Shawn Grover and John Helliwell show the effect of marriage on a lifetime of happiness. They find that married
people are generally happier, and that the
happiness bonus from marriage is strongest right in middle age when you need it
the most.
One hypothesis that could explain why the
U-shape in life satisfaction over age is
deeper for the unmarried than the married is
that the social support provided by a spouse
helps ease the stresses of middle age, they
write.
This social support, as it turns out, is one
of the lynchpins of marital happiness. Its
not simply enough to be married it has to
be a good marriage. The study finds that the
happiness benefits of marriage are strongest among spouses who consider each
other their best friends, and that this best
friend effect is substantial. The well-being
benefits of marriage are on average about
twice as large for those (about half of the
sample) whose spouse is also their best
friend, the authors conclude.
The paper also finds good evidence to support the notion that the effect of marriage on
well-being is causal. After controlling for individuals self-reported happiness before
getting married, the authors found that
those who get married end up happier than
those who stay single.
The institution of marriage has taken a central role in societys debate over poverty and
inequality. On any number of social, educational and economic indicators, children of
married parents fare better than kids of unmarried ones.
But as this study shows, the benefits of marriage accrue to the individual spouses, as
well, and at the most fundamental level of
daily well-being, happiness and life satisfaction.
A new study has confirmed what common
sense would suggest: Being married carries
a powerful economic advantage.
According to the Institute of Marriage and
Family Canada, 86% of high-income families include a married or common-law couple, compared to 49% of the middle-class
and just 12% of the nations lowest income
earners.
People who are married, in general, have a
higher standard of living than people who
are single, said Marina Adshade, who
teaches at the University of British Columbias Vancouver School of Economics and
is author of The Love Market: What You
Need to Know About How We Date, Mate
and Marry.
People who are married report being much
happier. They live longer. They save better
for their retirement years, so theyre less
likely to live in poverty as seniors
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HHS4U Families in Canada
Lesson 7
Relevance
National Picture
When couples get married, they formalize
their union and family unit, having this recognized by law and possibly by a faith community. The life event of marriage is marked
by a legal or a religious wedding ceremony.
Marriage may involve caring for one another, having children, pooling financial resources, and sharing social networks. The
family is an essential building block in Canadian society and serves fundamental social
and economic roles (earning, caring, parenting, reproduction, and participating in community).
The marriage indicator measures marriages
that took place in a given year (new first
marriages and remarriages). It does not include common-law unions, another type of
family formation, or marriages that took
place in previous years.
In 2008, 147,288 marriages occurred in
Canada[1]. After having decreased almost
continually since the beginning of the
1970s, the marriage rate was only 4.4 marriages per 1,000 people in 2008. This is less
than half the level it was in 1972 (9.2 marriages) and represents an historic low, even
lower than that reached during the Great
Depression of the 1930s (5.9 marriages in
1932).
After the Depression, the rate reached almost 11 marriages per 1,000 people in the
first couple of years (1940-1942) of World
War II and immediately after the war (1946).
The marriage rate peaked again in the
1970s, as the baby boom generation entered adulthood. The recent declines in the
marriage rate have been accompanied by
increases in the proportion of commonlaw households[2] (see also Canadians in
Context). (Ingraham, C. 2015)
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HHS4U Families in Canada
Lesson 7
Age and Gender
In 2008, the average age at first marriage for men was 31.1 years and for women 29.1
years. This was higher than over the previous decades, including the 1930s and 1940s
when the average age at first marriage peaked at about 28 years for men, and 25 years
for women. In the 1960s and early 1970s, the age at first marriage declined to just over
22 years for women and 25 years for men.
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HHS4U Families in Canada
Lesson 7
Key Question #7a (75 marks)
Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 4
Step 5
Using the information presented in this lesson create a hypothesis.
Create three different graphs to represent the information you gained from
the above information.
For each graph, explain how the trend is currently affecting Canadian society,
and how you think it will affect the future of Canadian society.
Was your hypothesis support or refuted?
What does the future hold for the institution of marriage in Canada? How do
you think it will change? How will these changes affect individual development?
Your submission will be evaluated using the following rubric.
Category
Knowledge/
Understanding
/25
Thinking/
Inquiry
/25
Communication
/25
Level 1
(50-59%)
Demonstrates limited understanding
of statistical information related to
marriage
Uses research and
inquiry skill with limited effectiveness
to combine appropriate information
related to marriage
and to identify the
three important
trends
Presents findings of
research in graphical form with limited
